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二○一八年六月十六日/六月十七日                                                                                          Click here for English version

N 無爸爸的一封信 *

駱綺雯牧師

親愛的孩子們:

自從你們做了爸媽後,除了工作,還要日以繼夜為孩子的成長張羅,但希望你們在忙碌的生活中,不會忘記,你們也是我的孩子!

無條件的愛
要用愛包容孩子的缺失和他們不停變化的情緒,恆久忍耐,實在不易。我知道你們也充滿限制,可能你們曾上過照顧孩子的課程,但天真活潑的孩子,總有令人手足無措的時候。愛是很難學習的功課,特別是當孩子不太可愛,而你又筋疲力盡時,愛的能量就真是捉襟見肘。孩子!不用洩氣,你們也是被愛的,我用無條件的愛愛你,我是愛的源頭,我愛你不是因為你是成功的爸媽,你不過是智慧、能力、愛心都很有限的父母,當你沮喪、失望時,讓我的愛先充滿你,為你打氣、加油。

無窮盡的忍耐
天下間沒有最成功的爸媽,只有不斷成長的父母。面對孩子成長的挑戰,你們小心翼翼,不願對孩子做成半點傷害。你們雖已盡心竭力,但也可能會錯漏百出。孩子!不用害怕,我知道你們的軟弱。充塞的生活,使你們越來越沒有耐性;疲乏的心靈,使你們容易光火。儘管你愛孩子,但也可能會因一時衝動,無意中傷害了他們。凡事忍耐,實在是高難度動作。不過,當你做錯了的時候,我會用無窮盡的忍耐接納你。當疲乏困倦的你遇上毫不合作的孩子、快要忍無可忍時,請你停一停,來到我的跟前,讓我將忍耐的力量賜給你。

無限量的恩典
今日做父母,IQ(智力商數)、EQ(情緒商數)、AQ(逆境商數)都要高人一等。在群體中,你們面對著互相比較的壓力,在孩子成長的漫漫長路上,你們除了需要時間、體力、金錢……你們更需要恩典。當你已為孩子做了最多的預備、卻沒有最理想的結果時,請你們相信我,恩典一定夠用。孩子的表現或會偶然令你失望,請你不要太快放棄,我從不放棄既軟弱又充滿限制的你,卻以無限量的恩典,赦免你有意無意的過犯。請你也用恩典對待你的孩子,恩典比懲罰叫人成長得更健康。「我的恩典夠你用的,因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全」(林後十二 9)。

深愛你的,N 無爸爸上

* N 無爸爸是我們天上的父親,除了文中的三無,祂還有無間斷的守護、無窮無盡的力量、無時無刻的看顧,只要你親近祂,你會發現更多的「無」……






Pastor's Sharing
Letter from an 'N have-nots' Dad 1
Rev Eva Lok

My dear children

Ever since you became parents, you have been working non-stop to earn a living and raise your children. I can see your hard work. I hope that amid all the hustle and bustle, you will not forget that you, too, are my children.

No condition to Love: It is not easy to embrace your children's mistakes with love and to be patient with their changing emotions. I know that you have your own limitations. You may have taken courses on parenting, but there are times when you are at a loss of what to do with your innocent and energetic children. Love is a difficult lesson. You easily feel exhausted in love when your children seem less likable and you are energy drained. But don't give up, my children! You are also loved. I love you unconditionally. I am the source of love. I love you not because you are a successful dad or mom. You are only parents with limited wisdom, ability and love. When you get frustrated and despair, let me fill you with my love, encourage and empower you.

No end to patience: There is no "most successful dad and mom" on earth, only growing parents. You try your very best to cope with your children growing up so that they will not be hurt by any chance. Still, the mistakes can be plentiful. Don’t be afraid, my children! I know your weaknesses. With your packed schedules, you are losing patience and your heart is weary, making you prone to anger. Despite your love for your children, there may be times when you hurt them unintentionally. It is indeed difficult to be always patient. Yet, when you make mistakes, I will accept you with my endless patience. When you grow weary and on the verge of explosion with an uncooperative child, pause and come to me and I will give you patience.

No limit to grace: These days, especially with the peer pressure from comparison, it takes a high intelligence quotient, emotional quotient and adversity quotient to be parents. In the winding development course of your children, you need time, energy, money… and most importantly, grace. When you have done your very best to prepare for your children and the outcome is less than satisfactory, trust in me as my grace is sufficient for you. Your children may sometimes make you disappointed, but do not give up too easily. I never give you up despite your weaknesses and limitations, but with endless grace I forgive your intentional and unintentional mistakes. So, treat your children with grace. Grace makes for much healthier development than punishment. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Love you deeply
"N have-nots" Dad

1This "N have-nots" Dad (N 無爸爸) is our Heavenly Father. Apart from the three "no's" above, there is also no end to His keeping, no limit to His power, no stop for His watching… When you get close to Him, you will discover more "no"…