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二○一九年五月十一日/五月十二日                                                                                         Click here for English version

家多一點愛

曾敬宗牧師

弟兄姊妹,或許你仍是單身、未有兒女,但無論你是甚麼年紀,你必定有個作兒女的身分,有你的家庭。由出生開始,我們的存活已不是單純屬於一個人的事,單單在產房內,我們已經需要多人的協助才可以安然出生,更何況我們有主內的家、有天父爸爸、有主內弟兄姊妹。

我們都認同主的家內需要有愛,也要學習接納家中看似「不可愛」的弟兄姊妹。但我們卻往往忘記在肉身的家裡,更需要加多一點愛,要學習接納家裡「不可愛」、「不明白你」、「曾傷害你」的家人。

天父爸爸提醒我們:「愛心是聯繫全德的」(西三 14,新譯本)。昔日香港每個家庭人數大都較多,鄰居同舟共濟,關係亦較密切。可是,今日香港不少家庭都只有一名子女,加上近年社會急速轉變,以致許多家庭在學業、工作、照顧子女及父母方面的壓力大增,人與人之間越見疏離、難以溝通,家庭中實在需要多一點愛來作連繫。天父又提醒我們:「神就是愛……愛裡沒有懼怕,完全的愛可以把懼怕驅除,因為懼怕含有刑罰,懼怕的人在愛裡還沒有完全」(約壹四 16、18)。我們若在神的愛中,在審判的日子就不用面對刑罰,完全不用懼怕。每次提到「家人」,我總想起兒時有一次犯了大錯,媽媽氣上心頭,衝口而出:「好!我以後不再煮飯給你吃!」稍稍平復後,媽媽便走進廚房預備當天的愛心晚飯,這叫我體會到甚麼是家人,甚麼是無條件的愛。這並不限於父母對待子女,也在於子女對待父母、以及夫妻和弟兄姊妹之間的相處。

我另一個想起的片段,是母親嚴厲和權威式的管教,兒時的我也常因此而感到不好受。但當我開始明白母親所做的,已是遠遠超越她的學識和能力,再想到當時的社會狀況和家庭教育模式與數十年後的今天截然不同,我所見到的就只有她的愛。我們可能曾埋怨過父母不明白自己,但在不久的將來,我們可能也會被兒女或新一代埋怨。

無論那一個年代,我們倘能多存溫柔開放的心溝通傾談,多嘗試站在對方的限制和立場去理解他們的關注,主動在家裡加多一點主的愛,我們就必更能讓家人看見真實的主。愛不單是放過對方,也是放過自己。弟兄姊妹,神的愛不是都已經在你和我的心裡麼?






Pastor's Sharing
Bring More Love into the Family
Rev Andrew Tsang

Dear brothers and sisters, you may be single, or do not yet have children. But whatever your age, you must be somebody's child. You must be part of a family. Human existence has never been solitary. Even in hospital delivery rooms, a baby cannot be safely born without the assistance of a medical team. Likewise, in God's family, we have the Heavenly Father and brothers and sisters. Nobody is alone.

We all agree that we need love in our spiritual home and that we need to learn to accommodate the seemingly 'less likable' brothers and sisters. But what we easily forget is that in our physical family, we need even more love. We need to learn to accept family members who are 'not likable,' who do not understand us or who have hurt us.

The Heavenly Father has reminded us: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity" (Colossians 3:14). Hong Kong used to have bigger families. The community was more closely knit together and neighbors helped out each other. However, today, many families have only one child. Rapid social changes bring increased pressure at school, home and in the workplace. People are further apart and have greater difficulties communicating with one another. Our families need more binding love. The Heavenly Father has also reminded us: "God is love… There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love" (1 John 4:16, 18). With God's love, we will not fear nor face punishment on judgment day.

Every time I mention family members, I recall an instance in my childhood days when I made a big mistake. It made my mom mad and she said, "All right, I will never cook for you again!" But after calming down, she went into the kitchen to prepare her dinner of love. The incident taught me what family and unconditional love are. Parents' love for their children, children's love for parents, even the love between husband and wife and among brothers and sisters can be unconditional.

My mom was strict and authoritative when it came to discipline. That often made me feel bad when I was small. But then I realized what mom did far exceeded her knowledge and ability. I also noted the vast differences between the social environment and family education modes then and now. Such realization made me understand her love. We may have complained that our parents did not understand us. But we may soon be subject to similar complaints from our children or the next generation.

Our family will see God through us if we talk with them more, and communicate with them in a gentle and open manner. Stand in their shoes or think within the framework of their restrictions to better understand their concerns. Inject more of God's love into the family. Love is forgiving all, including the others and ourselves. Brothers and sisters, isn't it true that you and I already have the love of God in our hearts?