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二○一九年六月十五日/六月十六日                                                                                        Click here for English version

在基督裡跨越「家庭疏離關係」的障礙

譚廣海牧師

數週前,看到一則關於日本流行「租借家人」的報道,不少家庭因缺少父親或母親,或因未能預想配偶離世,因而陷入孤單無助、情緒低落的困境,想不到有一個名叫「家庭浪漫」的機構,竟然利用「出租家庭角色」,來填補人們內心的虛空、回應情感社交的需要!

每年 5 至 6 月期間,我們都會慶祝父母親節,與家人共享天倫之樂,這實是一件美事。上述出租家庭角色的事件,提醒我們應趁著家庭成員仍然健在,便把握機會,與他們建立親愛的關係。

話雖如此,我們知道有不少家庭凝聚力薄弱,箇中原因很多:性格不合、思維不同、處事方式歧異等。誠然,各家均有難唸的經,若要問其所以、誰能有效探究真相、應對得宜?我們又該作甚麼,才能達到藥到病除、冰釋前嫌的果效?相信沒有人能輕易解答。

感謝神,在基督裡,我們領受了「蒙愛與合一」的應許。

首先,蒙愛的應許,始於我們還作罪人的時候,基督耶穌藉著救贖的行動,向我們顯明了神的愛(羅五 8)。而天父也用永遠的愛來愛我們,給我們「永不撇下,總不丟棄」的承諾(耶三十一 3;來十三 5 下)。因此,我們這些蒙愛的人,既不孤單,也能學習「在愛裡沒有懼怕」的功課(約壹四 18),故此,我們縱使受著愛心不足、虧待傷害的困擾,也能靠著在基督裡的恩惠與扶助,逐漸得著釋放。另外,主耶穌救贖的恩典,能幫助我們與神親近,進而改善我們與家人的和睦關係(弗二 14-15)。試想,將籬笆欄柵在房屋內外豎立起來,原是要發揮保護的用途,不該把它變成家庭成員敵對或分離的界線。今天家庭關係出現疏離、對抗的局面,相信不是我們所期待的,我們真的不該讓各人長期處於不說不問、不理不睬的困境中。

基督信仰的原則是:「聖潔蒙愛的人,就要存憐憫、恩慈、謙虛、溫柔、忍耐的心。倘若這人與那人有嫌隙,總要彼此包容,彼此饒恕;主怎樣饒恕了你們,你們也要怎樣饒恕人」(西三 12-13)。我們知道,金錢並不能買到愛,所以在基督裡蒙受神愛的人,要緊握神的愛,藉此得著安慰與勉勵。深願我們能藉著禱告,培育「受感聖靈、親密共融」的思維,以適切的行動,在基督裡跨越家庭疏離關係的障礙。






Pastor's Sharing
Mending Family Ties in Christ
Rev Samuel Tam


A few weeks ago, there was a report in the media about a popular service in Japan called "family members for hire." Where people feel lonely, helpless and depressed because they are part of a single-parent family, or because their spouse has died unexpectedly, they can hire actors from a "Romantic Family" institution to provide warmth and satisfy their emotional needs.

Celebrations of Father's Day and Mother's Day in May and June each year add to the joys of the family. That is very good. The story about "family members for hire" reminds us that we should do our best to build loving relationships with the family as long as we live.

Meanwhile, there are a host of factors that can hamper family ties: personality clashes, different mentalities, different styles of handling matters…. While every family has its own problem, who can tell its cause or suggest a solution?

Thanks be to God, we have been promised love and unity in Christ.

First, the promise of love. "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). God has loved us with an everlasting love, and promised "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Jeremiah 31:3, Hebrews 13:5b). Therefore, we who God loves are not lonely, and we can learn what it means when the Bible says "There is no fear in love" (1 John 4:18). The grace and help of Christ will ease any pain from the lack of love or improper handling or hurting each other. Meanwhile, the redemptive grace of the Lord Jesus Christ draws us closer to God and brings peace to the family (Ephesians 2:14-15). Fences are for protection. They should not be erected within the family to separate one another. Nobody wants to see alienation or antagonism among family members. We have no reason for not caring for each other or not talking to one another.

This is what our faith requires in principle: "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:12-13). Indeed, money cannot buy us love. We who are holy and dearly loved in Christ should grasp the love of God and be consoled and encouraged. May we all, through our prayers, learn to follow the Spirit and cultivate unity. May we, through appropriate action in Christ, remove alienation that gets in the way of good family ties.