返回上頁



二○一九年十月二十六日/十月二十七日                                                                                   Click here for English version

彼此聆聽

孔桂芳牧師

過去幾個月的社會運動,難免將我們牽動得心緒不寧,甚至令我們的內心積壓很多的情緒,所以我們實在需要疏理一下,免得在不自覺的情況下,讓情緒主導了自己,說出傷害別人的話,或作出不合適的行動。

我們需要每天騰出心靈的空間,去接觸一下內心的感受,學習詩篇裡的詩人,與自己的心對談,問問內心此刻的感受:「我的心哪,你為甚麼沮喪?不安?」然後將這些感受向上帝傾訴。感謝主愛我們,稱我們為朋友,隨時樂意聆聽我們的心聲,讓我們可以藉著禱告使情緒得以疏解。我們不妨撥出片刻的空間在主前靜默,我相信我們是可以像以利亞那樣聽到主的微聲,得著安慰、鼓勵、盼望,甚至聽得到祂的引導。

我們都渴望被聆聽,渴望感受被了解、接納與支持。記得有一次經歷,叫我認識到自己不懂得聆聽,也明白到單單聆聽已足可帶來治療的作用。在大學的時代,曾有一位同學和我分享父母關係所帶來的困擾,當時怎樣回應這同學,我已記不起,只記得她對我說:「你不要再說甚麼,只要聆聽就足夠了。」我對這句話非常的深刻,後來修讀輔導,就更明白聆聽的重要。

聆聽實在不容易,特別是我們太習慣去分析、批判和解決問題,常急不及待給建議,甚至長篇大論的講自己,毫不理會或敏感分享者的感受。我們也太忙碌,沒有空間去處理自己的情緒,更沒心力和時間去聆聽和承載別人的感受,害怕對方會令自己更沉重。

香港的紛亂未必短時間內有出路,故此我們更需要彼此聆聽,一同辨識主對我們的帶領。聆聽是信任的表現,我們要謙卑承認自己所知的很少,也要接納對方真實的感受,欣賞對方的坦誠分享與信任,從心底去回應感受而不加以批判。關係是需要用心去建立,受傷的關係更需要以愛去彌補。求主讓我們從最基本的聆聽開始,先聆聽自己,進而能夠聆聽到神及弟兄姊妹,讓我們透過彼此聆聽去實踐愛心,一同經歷上帝的醫治。

「主耶和華賜給了我一個受教者的舌頭,使我知道怎樣用言語扶助疲乏的人;主每天清晨喚醒我,他每天清晨喚醒我的耳朵,使我能像受教者一樣靜聽。」(賽五十 4,新譯本)。




Pastor's Sharing
Listening to One Another
Rev Hung Kwai Fong

Inevitably, events of the past few months of social movement have made us uneasy or filled us with various strong feelings. Something needs to be done with these emotions so they will not take control of us consciously or unconsciously, and we will not resort to inappropriate actions or words that hurt others.

We need to create room in our hearts every day to search our souls. Just like the psalmist in a self-dialogue, let us learn to get in touch with our own feelings: "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" (Psalm 42:5) Take your feelings to the Lord. Give thanks for His love. The Lord calls us friends and readily listens to us so we can deal with these emotions through prayers. Take a moment to calm down before the Lord. I believe that just like Elijah, we can then be comforted and encouraged with hope by the still, small voice of God. We may even hear His guidance.

We all want to be listened to. We all need others' understanding, acceptance and support. I had an experience that made me realize that I did not know how to listen and helped me understand that listening itself brings about healing. In my university days, a classmate came to me and shared with me the troubles she felt due to her broken relationship with her parents. I cannot recall what I said to her at that time but I remember she said, "You don't need to keep talking to me. Just listen." That remark lingers in my ears to this day. Later in counseling class, I got a better understanding of the importance of listening.

Listening is no easy job, especially for those of us accustomed to making analyses, judgment, and finding solutions. We readily make suggestions or even talk about ourselves at length without caring about or watching the reaction of the one sharing. We are also too busy. We have no time to deal with our emotions, not to mention time and effort to listen to or practice empathy towards others' feelings. We are afraid that what they say may add to our burden.

It is entirely possible that the confusion and disorder in Hong Kong will not be resolved in the short term. As such, we all the more need to listen to one another. Together, we need to discern the Lord's guidance for us. Listening implies trust. We need to humbly admit that we do not know much. We must also accept the other party's genuine feelings and show appreciation for his/her frank sharing and trust. We should respond to those feelings with our hearts without being critical. Relationships need to be built with the heart. Broken relationships all the more needs to be mended by love. May God help us to start with the most basic of all remedies – listening. Listen to ourselves, then we can listen to God and brothers and sisters. Let us practice love by listening to each other and together experience the healing of the Lord.

"The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed" (Isaiah 50:4).