牧者心聲
愛心付出，需要辨識
陳劍雲牧師
2023 年 3 月 25 日 / 26 日
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身處末世，保持愛心不冷淡，是基督徒要警醒的事，但與此同時，為有需要的人作愛心的付出，其實也要小心辨識。正如保羅為教會祈禱 ——我所禱告的，就是你們的愛在知識和各樣的見識上越來越多，使你們可以分辨甚麼是美好的事 ⋯⋯（腓一 9-10 上）
愛心付出、幫助有經濟困難的肢體或鄰舍，誠然是理所當然的事。不少人遇到有需要的人，會考慮給予金錢或物質的援助，或者借錢給當事人。在某些情況下，就緊急的需要作短期救助是適切的，例如給予食物、衣服、醫藥和暫居之地等，然而，單向的施予和救助只應是處理燃眉之急，不宜長時間維持。一般而言，持續或大量借錢給當事人，並不是明智之舉，我們更不應為他們作擔保和代為舉債。若要真正幫助當事人，就必須多了解他們經濟困難的成因、他們和涉事的人需要有的成長，如此才可能從根本解決問題。
貧窮有其社會性的起因，原生家庭出了狀況，也容易令人陷入貧窮，這些情況都不是貧窮或財困的人所選擇的。然而，每個人都要靠主做好管家，我們要仰賴主恩，同時要正視自己的生命，學做負責任的決定。財政問題是否與性格、關係問題、或者健康管理有關？有甚麼消費和生活習慣要改變？問題是否與靈性軟弱相關？該怎樣借助力量和得著智慧去尋求改變？求助者要有開放、尋求神光照的心志，去面對自己、祈求恩典與能力；同時，助人者也需要有耐性、溫柔的智慧去同行。
除了從根源去了解問題之外，發掘當事人的才幹、能力和其他優點，並鼓勵他們發揮，也是非常重要的。所有生命都是上主所賜予，各人都有從神而來的禮物（gifts），同行者如果能看到和肯定當事人的恩賜，甚或提供機會，讓他們在受薪工作中鍛練和發揮所長，那不但可幫助他們在經濟上紓困，更能建立他們的生命尊嚴，有利他們建立與自己、與人的良好關係。
為物質上貧窮或陷入財政困境的人作出愛心幫助，其實並不容易，也因而不是我們可以「單打獨鬥」的事。所以，求助者要授權助人者與牧者分享，好讓牧者一起進行各方面的辨識，並給予靈性上的支援，如此不但有助於連繫不同的資源，更能為求助者與助人者的關係給予守望，讓彼此在愛與被愛中一同蒙福。
願主保守我們，叫我們常存愛心，多得智慧。阿們！
In the last days, Christians need to stay vigilant so our love will not grow cold. But at the same time, our acts of love for the needy in fact also need our careful discernment. That was exactly Paul’s prayer for the church – "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best…." (Philippians 1:9-10a)
Loving and offering financial assistance to brothers and sisters or neighbors is no doubt right. Faced with the needy, many of us would consider providing financial or material assistance, even lending money to the needy. Under certain circumstances, providing short-term assistance to meet acute needs such as food, clothing, medicine or temporary accommodation is appropriate. Nevertheless, one-way giving and assistance should only be used to deal with urgent needs. It is not suitable for the long term. Generally speaking, continuous loans or loans in large amounts to the needy are not a wise move. Moreover, we should not act as the person's guarantor or borrow on his behalf. To be able to really help the needy, we must understand the causes of their financial problem and the growth needs of them and any other parties involved. These give us a better chance to tackle the problem at its roots.
Poverty has its social causes. Problems arising from the family of origin can easily cause poverty. These situations are not the choice of the poor or needy. However, all of us need to be good stewards with the help of the Lord. We need to rely on His grace and, at the same time, face our lives squarely. We need to learn to make responsible decisions. Is the financial problem related to our character, relationship issues, or management of health? Are there any expenditures or habits in life that need to be changed? Is the problem related to a spiritual trough? Where can the person seek power or get wisdom for change? The help-seeker should be open and should resolve to seek the illumination of God. He should face himself squarely and pray for grace and strength. At the same time, the helper also needs to be patient, gentle and wise in walking with the needy.
Besides understanding the problem at its roots, it is also very important to find out the needy's talents, abilities and other strengths and to encourage them to use them. All lives are given by the LORD. Everyone has gifts from God. If the one who walks with the needy can identify and affirm the needy's gifts or even provide opportunities to let them train up and use their abilities in paid employment, it will not only help relieve their financial pressure but will also build up their dignity in life. This will help them develop good relationships with the self and with others.
It is not altogether easy to perform acts of love to those in material poverty or financial difficulties. We cannot "go it alone." The help-seeker needs to authorize the one who helps to share the situation with pastors so that pastors can discern in various aspects together and offer spiritual support. This will not only help pool together various resources but they can also keep watch over the relationship between the help-seeker and the helper so they can both be blessed in loving and being loved.
May the Lord keep us so that we will always love and have greater wisdom. Amen!
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