牧者心聲
聖誕節——重新去愛
程續戰牧師
2023 年 12 月 23 日 / 24 日
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最近和同工一起看了《超難搞先生》（A Man Called Otto，港譯《隱閉中年》）這齣電影，覺得很有意思。
愛的相反原來是冷漠：在人眼中，Otto是個超難搞的人，鄰居和同事都怕了他。在Otto的退休派對中，無論他說甚麼，大家都沒有興趣去聽，還語帶輕視地回應他，令本來厭世的Otto決定自殺。任何人自殺，背後有很多原因，但如果當事人感受到被關愛，負面思想得到調整，他們或許會放下自我了斷的想法。相反，如果當事人被冷漠包圍，他們的負面思想便會倍增，後果也會相當不樂觀。
以前我常以為「愛」的相反是「恨」，但《聆聽內心的聲音》（God's Voice Within）的作者說其實不然，「愛」的相反是「冷漠」。當我完全不在乎某個人，就會視他為透明，甚至懶得恨他。「冷漠」才是「最不愛」。
難搞有因：聖誕節的標誌是愛，這提醒我們思索有否對人冷漠。對方或許超難搞，我們真的不想愛他，但他可能也有苦衷的。以Otto為例，原來他這麼難纏，是因為他的愛妻曾因人為疏忽導致半身癱瘓，以致他對守規則視為頭等大事，鄰居Marisol知道Otto的過去後，便有更多動力去關心他。我們身邊許多難搞的人，背後相信也有其故事，我們如能這樣想，可能就不會那麼計較，會多點動力重新去愛。
簡單的愛：與我一起看這電影的同工事後分享，原來愛可以很簡單，請對方品嘗美味的食物，已足可令對方的心靈得安慰，痛苦減少。Otto的鄰居Marisol是個烹飪高手，沮喪的Otto吃了她的美食之後，心靈的力量得著補充，他和鄰居的關係因此慢慢變得密切，而他也打消了尋死的念頭，重新出發。
或許你並不擅長烹飪，但你也可趁著聖誕節發一條暖心的訊息給一位情緒低落的人，對方的心靈相信也能被滋潤的。我很多謝祈禱守望組常常為我和牧者們禱告，有一次我因追趕死線而身心疲累，但這時忽然收到他們一幅圖畫：「你的啦啦團隊不停為你加油！」我不禁會心微笑，得著新的力量面對各種挑戰。
聖誕節的標誌是愛，求主幫助我們想起身邊有需要的人，也許發個慰問訊息、撥個電話、送上一隻水果、一起吃頓飯，就能讓他們感受到主耶穌為他們降生的愛，經歷到天父在以賽亞書所說的話：
婦人怎能忘記她吃奶的嬰孩，不憐憫她親生的兒子呢？即使她們可能忘記，我也不會忘記你。（四十九15，新譯本）
Accompanied by co-workers, I recently watched “A Man Called Otto.” I find this movie truly inspiring.
The opposite of love is callousness: In people’s eyes, Otto is a very difficult person to deal with. His neighbors and colleagues are scared of him. At his retirement party, nobody is interested in listening to whatever he says. On the contrary, they respond to him with scorn. As a result, Otto, who is already tired of living, decides to take his own life. There are many reasons behind suicides. But if the person concerned feels he is cared for and loved, there is a good chance that his negative thoughts may be adjusted, and he may give up committing suicide. On the contrary, if the person is always met with callousness, his negative thoughts will grow, and the result could be fatal.
I have always thought that the opposite of “love” is “hate”. But the author of God’s Voice Within has a different view. He says the opposite of “love” is “callousness”. If I do not at all care about someone, I tend to see him as transparent. I will not even bother to hate him. “Callousness” is “lack of love to the fullest extent.”
Reason for difficulty: Christmas is marked by love. It reminds us to reflect on whether we have been callous to anyone. The person may be a super difficult character. We really do not want to love him. But he may have a reason for his attitude. In the case of Otto, his difficult character has arisen from the fact that his beloved wife has become half paralyzed through other people’s negligence. He therefore makes adherence to rules his top priority. When his neighbor Marisol knows this, she is much better motivated to care for him. Now we have many difficult people around us. They, too, may have their own story. If we can approach them like this, we will likely be less calculating. We will be better motivated to renew our love for them.
Simple love: The co-workers who watched the movie with me shared that love can be very simple. Sharing delicious food with the person can go a long way to let him or her feel comforted and takes away some pain. Otto’s neighbor Marisol is a good cook. After eating her delicious food, the disgruntled Otto does have his inner strength replenished. And his relationship with his neighbor gradually becomes closer. He then gives up his suicidal thought and continues life’s journey anew.
You may not be a good cook. But during Christmastime, you can still send a heartwarming message to someone depressed. I believe it will mean a lot to them. I am very thankful to the Prayer Watch Group who often prays for me and other pastors. One time when I was weighed down by deadlines, I suddenly received a picture from them with a message saying “Your cheer team always cheers for you!” I smiled, and with the smile came strength with which I could continue to meet up with all the challenges in front of me.
Christmas is marked by love. May God help us remember those who are in need around us. Just a message of care, a telephone call, giving fruit, or having a meal together can help them feel the love of the Lord Jesus who came to earth for them. It can help them experience what the Heavenly Father says in the Book of Isaiah:
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”(49:15)
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