牧者心聲

自從大兒子升上高小之後，便不時問我許多問題，尤其是關於中國歷史的，幸好我也喜愛歷史，所以大多尚能應付。遇到自己不懂的，我也會求助於人工智能（AI）。在這 AI 的年代，科技似乎正逐步取代人類日常的工作與角色。於是我問 AI：「你可以取代爸爸的角色嗎？」AI 的回答是，它不能取代我在家中的角色。正如它所說，父親的角色不只是提供答案，更是與孩子建立互信，教導他們承擔責任，並在現實生活的衝突矛盾中，引導兒女作出正確判斷，以真實的人格去影響孩子的成長。

其實，世上難有十全十美的爸爸，聖經中的父親也是如此。雅各貴為以色列十二支派的始祖，當女兒底拿受辱之時，他卻沉默不言（創三十四 5），沒有及時承擔父親應有的責任，解決這不幸的事件，反而容讓惱怒的兒子們出面處理，結果釀成更大的悲劇。後來，雅各對約瑟的偏愛，也導致兒子們彼此嫉妒不和（創三十七 3-4）。另外，大衛是合神心意的人，但他在作父親的事上亦有過失。當他知道女兒他瑪被兒子暗嫩污辱後，雖然感到氣憤（撒下十三 21），作為父親卻沒有在家中主持公道，結果種下日後兄弟相殘的禍根。

我自問不是一個好爸爸，對兒子有不少虧欠，其中之一是因工作忙碌，陪伴孩子的時間太少。最近翻看兒子過往出外活動的相片，發現許多都是太太和他們一起拍的，我與兒子的合照卻寥寥可數，難怪師母有時會自嘲，說自己像單親家長。事實上，我的成長中也缺乏父愛，家父在我四歲時不幸離世，沉默寡言的祖父與我之間總有一層隔膜，始終無法取代父親的形象。坦白說，這樣的成長背景，曾令我覺得自己不容易與兒子建立深厚的關係。

感謝主！當大兒子纏著我發問時，我漸漸發現，這正是我們溝通和建立關係的良機。這讓我們有了共同話題，也讓我在回答兒子的同時，能夠指導他追求學問、建立自信，並幫助他在信仰與生活中成長。正如箴言作者以為師為父的心腸勸戒後輩說：「我已指教你走智慧的道，引導你行正直的路。」（箴四 11）

「敬畏耶和華是智慧的開端，認識至聖者便是聰明。」（箴九 10）但願上主幫助我們承擔父親的責任，帶領孩子在敬畏神的路上成長。阿們！

  Since my elder son was promoted to upper primary school, he has often asked me all kinds of questions, particularly about Chinese history. Fortunately, I also like history, so I can still answer most of them. When I encounter something I do not know, I turn to artificial intelligence (AI) for help. In this age of AI, technology seems to be gradually taking over many of the tasks and roles that people fulfil in their daily lives. So I asked AI, “Can you replace the role of a father?” AI replied that it could not replace my role in the family. As it explained, a father’s role is not merely to provide answers. It is also to build a relationship of mutual trust with his children, teach them to take responsibility, and guide them to make sound judgements amid the tensions and complexities of real life, influencing their growth through the example of his authentic character.

  In truth, it is difficult to find a perfect father in this world, and the fathers in the Bible were no exception. Jacob was the forefather of the twelve tribes of Israel. Yet, when his daughter Dinah was defiled, he remained silent (Genesis 34:5). He failed to assume his responsibility as a father promptly and deal with this tragic incident. Instead, he allowed his angry sons to take matters into their own hands, resulting in an even greater tragedy. Later, Jacob’s favouritism towards Joseph also caused jealousy and discord among his sons (Genesis 37:3–4). David, too, was a man after God’s own heart, but he also failed in his role as a father. When he learned that his daughter Tamar had been violated by his son Amnon, he was furious (2 Samuel 13:21). Yet, as a father, he did not uphold justice within his family, thereby sowing the seeds of the fratricidal tragedy that followed.

  I cannot claim to be a good father. I have failed my sons in many ways, one of which is that, because of the demands of work, I have spent too little time with them. Recently, as I looked through photographs taken during my sons’ outings over the years, I noticed that many of them showed my wife with the boys, while photographs of my sons and me together were few and far between. It is no wonder that my wife sometimes jokes that she is like a single parent. In fact, I also grew up without a father’s love. My father sadly passed away when I was four years old. There was always a barrier between my quiet and reserved grandfather and me, and it was not possible for him to take the place of a father figure. To be honest, this background once made me feel that it would not be easy for me to build a deep relationship with my sons.

  Thank the Lord! As my elder son continued to pepper me with questions, I gradually realized that these moments provided valuable opportunities for us to communicate and build our relationship. They gave us subjects of common interest. At the same time, as I answered his questions, I could guide him in pursuing knowledge, developing confidence, and growing in both faith and life. As the writer of Proverbs exhorts the younger generation with the heart of both a teacher and a father: “I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths” (Proverbs 4:11).

  “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding” (Proverbs 9:10). May the Lord help us assume our responsibilities as fathers and lead our children to grow in the reverent fear of God. Amen!